Are you there shambot? It’s me, 1.

I have this thing about anthromorphism. Metaphor and abstraction don’t come very easily for me, but for some reason I almost constantly compare things to people. I’m told that this is common among computer scientists and mathematicians, so I had the idea of trying to personify numbers (hence the title, I don’t know about you, but a serif number 1 reminds me of someone praying, pleading or looking up.) It’s really more of a thought experiment on myself, but if you ever wanna tinker with your thinker, try it out for a week.

A first-post BLOB for you:
Wikipedia knows what's up.
I thought I’d have to create SOMETHING for my first post, so i did what any uncreative person does under pressure: vandalize other people’s work. No, actually I used my CS3930: Advanced Web Programming skills to change the web page (I’d feel bad if someone at wikipedia actually had to take the time to screen that one out.) Unfortunately the class is only two weeks in and wordpress disables PHP in posts so i can’t program anything really cool into my blog posts.

I’m sure everyone’s sick of talking about how cold it’s been, but I actually enjoyed today. It was 0 degrees out when I left for class but in a way it felt like spring. Any time the temperature jumps 20 degrees over night the next day is wonderful. I notice that when it gets below -10 people tend to walk intently, without expression or distraction. Kinda like robots. Today however, people were looking around, walking in groups, talking, doin’ that “whats up” head thing to strangers that they accidentally make eye contact with. It was uplifting.

Have a nice day!

Edit: Changed the picture, first one was thiiis big (arms across monitor).

5 Movies that you probably hate

But that I happened to like. Not in a condescending ironic way, and not in a guilty pleasure way. I think all these films are legitimately good, if still somewhat flawed.

1. Hellboy-

Why you probably hate it: They turned one of the greatest comics of all time into a cheesy action movie.

My Response: There is a certain structure that hollywood action movies have to adhere to. This usually makes for some pretty terrible films, however, sometimes it makes for interesting results. By forcing the material of the hellboy comics to fit this structure, Guillermo Del Toro created a really imaginative action movie, that rates along with the spiderman, x-men and batman movies as one of the greatest superhero movies there is. It’s kind of like forcing a free verse poet to write a sonnet, it’s limiting in some ways, but it forces the artist to have ideas they might not have otherwise. An example is how Hellboy’s character was given a richer, more detailed social life. Something beyond bitching about how he doesn’t want to cause the apocalypse.

2. Underworld-

Why you probably hate it: “It’s a mindless matrix rip-off were vampires fight werewolves, LAME!”

My response: I have gotten an unbelievable amount of shit for liking this movie. Especially from my uppity, todd solondz watching film-major girlfriend. Yes, vampires fight werewolves in this movie. No, that does not make it some sort flintstones meets the jetsons, alien versus predator affair, where two failing franchises are stuck together in one last attempt to make money off of them. It’s more like when Alan Moore has Mr. Hyde fight the aliens from War of the Worlds, or when Tolkien has goblins fight dwarves. Underworld creates it’s own rich fantasy world, that borrows mythical creatures from past works, and juxtaposes them in an elegant and enlightening way. Honestly, if vampires and werewolves did exist together they probably would be enemies. Underworld shows this by making the Vampires into a board of emotionless, shadowy, aristocratic figures, who rule in secret and hunt the werewolves mercilessly. Werewolves are the opposite, they are a bunch of crazed homeless animals who are barely trying to survive. Underworld creates a great history explaining the cause of this conflict, and also gives us detailed information that explains what each characters stake in it is.

3. Apocalypto-

Why you probably hate it:”Directed by Mel Gibson”

My Response: Yup, he’s crazy, alchoholic and anti-semitic. But this movie isn’t! Honestly, I have no idea why Gibson wanted to make this movie. It is basically just an awesome action movie set in an amazingly cool setting (ancient mayan society) that is recreated really accurately. Honestly, it’s actually kind of anti-religion, because it shows how fucked up mayan religious beliefs could be, and how gullible people are.

4. The Devil’s Rejects-

Why you probably hate it: Rob Zombie is a hack, and this movie is just an excuse for 2 hours worth of sadism.

My Response: Love it or hate it, “torture porn” is the future of horror. By the way, torture porn is a label I am not sure if I like or not. I think it is accurate in some ways, because both porn and gory movies seek to show that which has been deemed unshowable by most authority figures. However, it suggests that the viewer takes some sort of sexualized pleasure in watching the torture. I, however, have always felt like the gruesome intensity of these movies is something that must be endured, rather than labored over. Horror would not exist if it couldn’t show us horrific, gruesome things. Torture, just like Frankenstein or Freddy Krueger, is something so disturbing that even looking upon it repulses us so much that we are exhilarated by it. The Devil’s Rejects is a carnival of repulsion. But the most amazing thing about it is that it makes us identify and root for a trio of reprehensible sociopaths. The main characters are bad guys, without a doubt, but they are so sickeningly charismatic that we want them to win out in the end. This makes the film a perfect example of how seductive evil can be, and how people like Hitler or Charles Manson can gain so many followers.

5. Mystery Men-

Why you probably hate it-“Oh yeah, I forgot that Ben Stiller once did a shitty superhero movie instead of a shitty romantic comedy.”

My Response- Some of the best movies and tv shows about superheros are the ones that make fun of superheros. I mean, c’mon, even if you love superheros you have to admit they are a fairly ridiculous concept. I count Mystery Men, along with The Tick and Venture Bros as the greatest examples of this genre. This is because the movie has an AMAZING cast, and a really clever script in addition to looking just plain looking cool. Some of the best jokes in this movie are just the description of each characters power. For example: The Shoveler- He has the power to shovel very well. Mr. Furious- His power is to get really angry. Also, I will just point out that Tom Waits is in this movie, and Tom Waits would never be in a bad movie.


i made this today.

it’s kind of a practice run on senior project imagery. i’m still trying to get a “vernacular” down, and i think keys and locks will play a big part of my big sexy (well, not like overtly sexy) senior project. I’ve already got Foucault’s history of sex volume 1. WHAT NEXT?!?!?!

also, i got an e-mail today saying this guy became a fan of me on digg. It looks like he is collecting every Emma, Maria, and Sonia he can find on Digg. IS THIS CREEPY, OR JUST ODD?!?!?

ONE MORE THING. I just want to thank whoever wrote the summary for this fantastic sounding movie, “Shrooms”, on the quicktime website and never frickin’ proofread it. Seriously guys.

check this out


i found this video online (it should download when you click it, sorry it aint streaming).

this was taken with a cell phone so its really crappy and the people didn’t realize what happened until much later. take a look now…

see it? watch when the camera pans to the guy laying on the grass in the distance. its really brief, but a little creature suddenly appears and bends down to touch the guy! according to the report, the dog in the video suddenly got really frightened and later, the guy had a red triangular mark where the thing touched him.

also check this out…



I broke my wrist while busting a move on the dance floor! yikes. not coordinated enough to post photos, but you saw the evidence from the video!

be my friend in this time of whiny pain?

Where Are We Now?

Where Are We Now? from Joel Gillman on Vimeo.


Every time I look at Shambot, I am confronted with my inadequate performance in the breathtaking race to the most-post title, which I am constantly narrating in my brain when I see that little sidebar.
I’m coming for you, Angie. Even if every post on the way is as lame and half-assed as this one, I’m just saying.

About damn time!

I chopped off all my hair!!  Have you seen me yet!?

Hair = Gone

PS BEN: Every time I look at shambot, I want to eat delicious breakfast items.


I have to say, good job at finally marketing yourself ctc. Its about damn time.

Bleu-Browns ‘n Eggs

The bleu is in the middle.

via Long-Weekend Tea Party