Shambot! » Sam http://www.shambot.com Fri, 04 Oct 2013 21:14:36 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.1.1 I hope I don’t see any of these guys walking home… http://www.shambot.com/sam/2008-04-17/i-hope-i-dont-see-any-of-these-guys-walking-home/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2008-04-17/i-hope-i-dont-see-any-of-these-guys-walking-home/#comments Thu, 17 Apr 2008 23:53:07 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2008-04-17/i-hope-i-dont-see-any-of-these-guys-walking-home/ SW!

I have not posted in a while, and I think these photos are pretty amazing. I figured this would be a good place to post ‘em cuz this site caters to a lot of nerds who also like photography. Here they are:

http://www.cinematical.com/2008/04/15/star-wars-goes-urban/

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UH OH http://www.shambot.com/sam/2008-03-08/uh-oh/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2008-03-08/uh-oh/#comments Sat, 08 Mar 2008 19:32:26 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2008-03-08/uh-oh/ I’m not sure what to make of this yet…

com

The rest are at http://rss.warnerbros.com/watchmen/

Sorry, I can’t figure out how to make that a link.

I guess they look ok… maybe a little schumacher-esque… The only one that I flat out do not like is Ozymandias. Also, where’s Doc Manhattan?

While I am fairly confident this will be the worst bastardization of Alan Moore ever, Dave Gibbons is reportedly really excited about the project, and thinks it’s going to be done really well. Also, when you think about it, 300 was one of the most faithful adaptations of any comic other than sin city, and Snyder is going to use the Graphic novel as a storyboard, just like has been done with those two movies. AND, black freighter is going to be included as a DVD feature. However, Frank Miller is much easier to adapt to film than Alan Moore ever will be.

And there is still the fact that Snyder is taking one of the greatest, most complex and intensely pessimistic novels ever and trying to make it into a summer blockbuster in the same vein as 300. I mean, honestly, 300 and watchmen are about as far from each other as super-hero comics get. We’ll see.

Thoughts?

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Killers of the Undead http://www.shambot.com/sam/2008-02-18/killers-of-the-undead/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2008-02-18/killers-of-the-undead/#comments Mon, 18 Feb 2008 19:02:04 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2008-02-18/killers-of-the-undead/ Tim is right, we Iowacityans have been far too absent from shambot as of late.

Now, in order to get your whistles whetted for some possible webisodes of Nerd Alert, I would like to present an image from the new intro that I (kind of, not really) animated.

It features Tim (befittingly dressed as a hardcore capoerista) and me (with a suit and a shotgun in homage to Steve McQueen in the Getaway) fighting off a pair of armored zombies.

alert!

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5 Movies that you probably hate http://www.shambot.com/sam/2008-01-29/5-movies-that-you-probably-hate/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2008-01-29/5-movies-that-you-probably-hate/#comments Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:31:33 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2008-01-29/5-movies-that-you-probably-hate/ But that I happened to like. Not in a condescending ironic way, and not in a guilty pleasure way. I think all these films are legitimately good, if still somewhat flawed.

1. Hellboy-

Why you probably hate it: They turned one of the greatest comics of all time into a cheesy action movie.

My Response: There is a certain structure that hollywood action movies have to adhere to. This usually makes for some pretty terrible films, however, sometimes it makes for interesting results. By forcing the material of the hellboy comics to fit this structure, Guillermo Del Toro created a really imaginative action movie, that rates along with the spiderman, x-men and batman movies as one of the greatest superhero movies there is. It’s kind of like forcing a free verse poet to write a sonnet, it’s limiting in some ways, but it forces the artist to have ideas they might not have otherwise. An example is how Hellboy’s character was given a richer, more detailed social life. Something beyond bitching about how he doesn’t want to cause the apocalypse.

2. Underworld-

Why you probably hate it: “It’s a mindless matrix rip-off were vampires fight werewolves, LAME!”

My response: I have gotten an unbelievable amount of shit for liking this movie. Especially from my uppity, todd solondz watching film-major girlfriend. Yes, vampires fight werewolves in this movie. No, that does not make it some sort flintstones meets the jetsons, alien versus predator affair, where two failing franchises are stuck together in one last attempt to make money off of them. It’s more like when Alan Moore has Mr. Hyde fight the aliens from War of the Worlds, or when Tolkien has goblins fight dwarves. Underworld creates it’s own rich fantasy world, that borrows mythical creatures from past works, and juxtaposes them in an elegant and enlightening way. Honestly, if vampires and werewolves did exist together they probably would be enemies. Underworld shows this by making the Vampires into a board of emotionless, shadowy, aristocratic figures, who rule in secret and hunt the werewolves mercilessly. Werewolves are the opposite, they are a bunch of crazed homeless animals who are barely trying to survive. Underworld creates a great history explaining the cause of this conflict, and also gives us detailed information that explains what each characters stake in it is.

3. Apocalypto-

Why you probably hate it:”Directed by Mel Gibson”

My Response: Yup, he’s crazy, alchoholic and anti-semitic. But this movie isn’t! Honestly, I have no idea why Gibson wanted to make this movie. It is basically just an awesome action movie set in an amazingly cool setting (ancient mayan society) that is recreated really accurately. Honestly, it’s actually kind of anti-religion, because it shows how fucked up mayan religious beliefs could be, and how gullible people are.

4. The Devil’s Rejects-

Why you probably hate it: Rob Zombie is a hack, and this movie is just an excuse for 2 hours worth of sadism.

My Response: Love it or hate it, “torture porn” is the future of horror. By the way, torture porn is a label I am not sure if I like or not. I think it is accurate in some ways, because both porn and gory movies seek to show that which has been deemed unshowable by most authority figures. However, it suggests that the viewer takes some sort of sexualized pleasure in watching the torture. I, however, have always felt like the gruesome intensity of these movies is something that must be endured, rather than labored over. Horror would not exist if it couldn’t show us horrific, gruesome things. Torture, just like Frankenstein or Freddy Krueger, is something so disturbing that even looking upon it repulses us so much that we are exhilarated by it. The Devil’s Rejects is a carnival of repulsion. But the most amazing thing about it is that it makes us identify and root for a trio of reprehensible sociopaths. The main characters are bad guys, without a doubt, but they are so sickeningly charismatic that we want them to win out in the end. This makes the film a perfect example of how seductive evil can be, and how people like Hitler or Charles Manson can gain so many followers.

5. Mystery Men-

Why you probably hate it-“Oh yeah, I forgot that Ben Stiller once did a shitty superhero movie instead of a shitty romantic comedy.”

My Response- Some of the best movies and tv shows about superheros are the ones that make fun of superheros. I mean, c’mon, even if you love superheros you have to admit they are a fairly ridiculous concept. I count Mystery Men, along with The Tick and Venture Bros as the greatest examples of this genre. This is because the movie has an AMAZING cast, and a really clever script in addition to looking just plain looking cool. Some of the best jokes in this movie are just the description of each characters power. For example: The Shoveler- He has the power to shovel very well. Mr. Furious- His power is to get really angry. Also, I will just point out that Tom Waits is in this movie, and Tom Waits would never be in a bad movie.

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Sam’s Movie month of madness http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-10-29/sams-movie-month-of-madness/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-10-29/sams-movie-month-of-madness/#comments Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:05:22 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-10-29/sams-movie-month-of-madness/ Hi, I’m Sam.

October is my favorite time of the year. I love fall. I love the weather. I love Halloween. I’ve always loved Halloween. As a kid, I loved Halloween. What I didn’t love, was scary movies. Merely looking at the covers of scary movies in video stores gave me the willies so bad that I couldn’t sleep. In fact, I once vomited because I allowed myself to become so frightened by a cover I had recently seen. (Although, to be fair, I vomited a lot as a kid.) At that age, the most frightening thing imaginable for me, was Chucky. The thought of your favorite toy trying to cut your head off is a pretty fucked up one for a kid to deal with, and that red headed little fucker tortured me for years. The insane thing, though, was that I was captivated. After a while, I started to go into the local video store on my own, after school. Once there, I would look at cover after cover of bad 80s slasher movies, scare the living shit out of myself, go home, and have nightmares. It was a sickening cycle of self destruction. I didn’t get over any of this in high school either. While Tim and Ben went to see the TCM remake, I stayed home and watched John Hughes movies with my sisters. Then, just after I finished my freshman year of college, I sat down and watched the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The very thought that this movie existed terrified me for a long time, yet somehow, once I saw it, something in my head flipped 180 degrees.

I have now become a full-blown horror addict. I can’t stop watching these things, especially this month. There is truly a thin line between love and hate. For this reason, I resolved to watch a horror movie I haven’t seen before for every day of October. While this didn’t pan out exactly right, since it is nearly impossible to watch a scary movie everyday without flunking your classes, it turned out quite nicely, because I started in mid september, and I am taking a film class that showed a few scare flicks. Not to mention the days where I just watched two movies. So, without further ado, here is the list of films I was lucky enough to enjoy during this month of madness.

Halloween- Terrifying, I went out and bought it after I rented it.
The Fog- No Halloween, but still very scary for a movie about ghost pirates.
The Fog(The remake)- Boring garbage.
The Wickerman- Bizarre, very interesting movie about paganism and religion.
The Hills Have Eyes-Classic, but I actually like the remake a little more.
TCM2- Written and Directed by Tobe Hooper, starring Dennis Hopper. How bad could it be? Very bad. Very, very bad.
Last House on the Left- Not only shocking, but the bad guys are highly interesting.
The Exorcist- Fuck you, Linda Blair. You will haunt my dreams until I die.
Hellraiser- This movie totally hinges on the effects, which are superb.
Scanners- Not really a horror movie, but good. Reminds me a lot of Heroes.
The Others- A lot like the original Haunting, scary without almost any special effects.
The Wolfman- Why don’t werewolves look like pitbulls anymore?
I Walked with a Zombie- Awesome, scary, B&W, pre-romero Zombie movie.
White Zombie- Another carribbean, pre-Romero zombie movie, this time with Bela Lugosi.
The Devil’s Backbone- Directed by Gullermo Del Toro, and a lot like Pan’s Labyrinth, but a ghost story instead of a weird fairy tale.
House of 1000 corpses- Surprisingly clever and scary in a lot of ways, but far too long. Only half as good as Devil’s Rejects.

Well, that’s my list. I hope to watch quite a few more in the next few days, but for now, I am pretty satisfied.

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hello kitty! http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-10-05/hello-kitty/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-10-05/hello-kitty/#comments Fri, 05 Oct 2007 16:18:01 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-10-05/hello-kitty/ I’ll just go ahead and say it, Emma (my girlfriend) ADOPTED A KITTEN!

She is black with white paws, a white tipped tale, a white belly and a white stripe on her face.

She is 8 weeks old and tiny and precious beyond belief! Her name is Moxie, and she already has like twenty nicknames, including Moxie-tron, and Moxiemillian.

We were gonna try and adopt one of Ben’s farm kitties, but we couldn’t find any of them when we got there. However, by that time, we had gotten kitty-fever, and just had to have one. Therefore, Emma went to Petsmart and adopted a Kitty from an unplanned domestic litter.

I thought it was especially funny that Emma chose the name she did, because that used to be our nickname for Malcolm.

Anyway, Pictures to come!

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Best Geek Show Forever http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-08-27/best-geek-show-forever/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-08-27/best-geek-show-forever/#comments Mon, 27 Aug 2007 20:14:04 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-08-27/best-geek-show-forever/ For those of you who haven’t heard yet, Tim and myself are primed to start production on a new monthly video project. It will take the form of a panel discussion show, however, our show is going to be dedicated to topics that fall into the category of “nerdliness.” I.E. Comic books, Video Games, and Cult films. Basically stuff that is nerdy, but not too nerdy, I.E. Dagorhir, D&D, LARPing, WOW. Y’know, stuff that only losers do. ;) Anyway, it’s gonna be about fifteen minutes of six panelists discussing various current event(s) in nerdom, and what we think of them. Our first show is going to be done in october, and fittingly we will be discussing Rob Zombie’s upcoming Halloween remake, and the ways in which horror films have changed and gotten huge recently, specifically remakes.

Anyway, in addition to premiering on UITV in october, we hope to post this episode on Shambot as soon as it’s completed.

Now is the part where you guys come in. Tim and I have not thought of a really snappy name for the show yet, so I thought I would make an open call for suggestions from the Shamboteers. Here are some of the ones we’ve come up with so far:

Nerd Chat with Tim & Sam
Geek Speak with Tim & Sam
Geek Chic with Tim & Sam
Nerd Words with Tim & Sam
The McCoy Group
Socially Awkward with Tim & Sam

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Coffee, Comics, Crackdown, and Living in Sin. http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-06-18/coffee-comics-crackdown-and-living-in-sin/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-06-18/coffee-comics-crackdown-and-living-in-sin/#comments Mon, 18 Jun 2007 23:40:58 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-06-18/coffee-comics-crackdown-and-living-in-sin/ Those four things sum up my summer so far.

I’m working a lot at Java House, reading and buying assanine amounts of comic books (in addition to working on a new project of my own), Getting addicted to the game Crackdown, and living happily with my GF. Here’s a little bit about each:
COFFEE
So I have this manager named Travis. He’s very cool, but for a long time I thought he was gay because of many of his mannerisms. I’m not alone in this observation, Tim had a few classes with him and thought the same thing. However, it turns out that he has a wife. I thought this more or less closed the book on his sexuality. That is, until I worked with him yesterday. Our conversation went like this:

Travis: Sam, lemme tell you something that I have learned, so you don’t get disappointed when you get to be my age. [He’s only like, 24] Don’t fall in love with the bad boys, they’ll only break your heart.

Sam: But I’m just not interested in all of those “good” boys!!

Travis: [Deep Sigh] You and me both.

I thought it was quite a sweet moment.
COMICS

Oh so so so many comics. I have almost doubled my collection since summer began. I have also been spending more time in the library than a homeless person in january. Right now I am really into Transmetropolitan, I think the idea of making a nutty, Hunter S. Thompson-esque journalist the savior of a dystopic futureworld is humblingly brilliant. I am also loving Garth Ennis’s Punisher. The Punisher is one of my favorite super-heroes, but I still can’t figure out why. I am also reading AKIRA, in an attempt to start getting into manga (at least, Manga that isn’t insipidly stupid, and written for 7th graders.)

CRACKDOWN

In the past, I have always treated Video Games the same I treat heavy drinking. It is something that is only appropriate when done with friends. That is until Emma bought the X-Box three-six-oh and I got i addicted to Crack. Down, that is. I know it had changed the way my brain works when I put the controller down, started walking to work, and planning which rooftops I would jump to if the Volk drove up and started attacking. I decided that once I gained some height and distance, I would use my last rocket to detonate the gas tank of their van. I also decided it was time to take a break from the x-box.

SIN

Living with Emma is pretty great, especially since she works days and I work nights. A lot of days, the only time we get together is the four hours of sleep that we have in common. It’s kind of like that movie Ladyhawk, with Mathew Broderick. Where this dude turns into a wolf at night, and this chick turns into a Hawk in the daytime, so they are doomed to never get it on.

http://imdb.com/title/tt0089457/ 

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The Time Has Come http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-06-06/the-time-has-come/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-06-06/the-time-has-come/#comments Wed, 06 Jun 2007 07:11:36 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-06-06/the-time-has-come/ HOOOOOOoooooo(voice cracks)oooooooooooOOOooly SHIT!

http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/hotrod/trailer1/

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The Top 5 songs that are less than a minute long. http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-05-31/the-top-5-songs-that-are-less-than-a-minute-long/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-05-31/the-top-5-songs-that-are-less-than-a-minute-long/#comments Thu, 31 May 2007 06:51:20 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-05-31/the-top-5-songs-that-are-less-than-a-minute-long/ Straight Edge- Minor Threat
Field Day for the Sundays-Wire
What We Do Is Secret- The Germs
Short Songs- The Dead Kennedys
Stab Your Back-The Damned

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The Best Girlfriend in the Business http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-05-04/the-best-girlfriend-in-the-business/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-05-04/the-best-girlfriend-in-the-business/#comments Fri, 04 May 2007 20:21:11 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-05-04/the-best-girlfriend-in-the-business/ Emma bought me this!!

Film

I have had my eye on it since the end of last summer, but have never been able to justify getting spending forty dollars all on one thing, and all the sudden, for no reason, a package came to my house one day. I don’t want to make you wince by sharing too many details about my personal life, I just wanted to share this wonderful act of kindness.

She’s a high class dame, and no mistake.

Also, speaking of noir-ish things, I finished my comic! Hooray! I hope to have it up on the internet at some point soon, and then I will post a link. I would love feedback of any sort.

Also, I liked spiderman 3 a lot. It had it’s flaws, but I don’t think that it is a particularly weak entry in the series.

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Blind Hatred http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-04-30/blind-hatred/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-04-30/blind-hatred/#comments Mon, 30 Apr 2007 17:46:18 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-04-30/blind-hatred/ I define blind hatred as a perpetual, and consciously sustained rage towards something. If you say “I will always love you” to someone you love unconditionally, then you say “I will always hate you” to someone who you hate blindly.

If love is the greatest and most noble human emotion, then blind hatred has to be the lowest and most base, because it is love’s polar opposite.

I make this statement because love allows understanding, philanthropy, inclusiveness, creativity and happiness to flourish.

Blind hatred fosters ignorance, misanthropy, exclusion, the urge to destroy, and ultimately, misery.

If everything I have said so far sounds god-awfully cliched, then it’s because it is. We hear this kind of statement ALL the time. We heard it in kindergarten, and we heard it in college. Everyone says it. A LOT. It’s a mantra.

But the reason we say it is because we are naturally hard-wired to hate. Evolution has hard-wired us to hate, to kill, to rape, to steal, to eat flesh, to form clans, to protect territories, and to despise the other. It’s only by denying these impulses that human civilization has been capable of anything other than destruction (although we are awesome at that, too.)

Naturally, the point I am trying to get at is that we should avoid blind hatred at all costs. But it’s tough when you or someone you know wakes up one day and finds out that, sure as shootin’, there is someone out there that hates them. All you can do is focus on the (hopefully) larger number of people who love you, and do what you can to not to make the hate any worse. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do usually to be hated less. If a group wants to stay closed off, and to hide their motivations and beliefs from those they have turned into the “other”, then there is not a lot the other can do. Live life, be happy, have fun.

Sorry if I have broken the usually good vibe on shambot with this relatively somber post. Also, I am, of course, discussing a specific set of events; so I apologize to anyone who has no idea what this is about.

Happy Bday Ben, Deedee, and Maggie. The 3 of you can now go drinking together!

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I’m worth a million in prizes. http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-04-23/im-worth-a-million-in-prizes/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-04-23/im-worth-a-million-in-prizes/#comments Mon, 23 Apr 2007 17:06:06 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-04-23/im-worth-a-million-in-prizes/ Iggy Pop is my idol. Of all the people that I worship (and it is a long list) he is the one I most revere. He is Zeus to all of my lesser gods.

Iggy Pop just turned sixty. That is weird to me. He is the guy who kind of defines youthful rebellion for me, yet he could practically be my grandpa. He celebrated his birthday by jumping of stage while playing a gig with the stooges. If that doesn’t make you feel better about getting older, then I don’t know what will. Also, he is that old and has a better body than most people ever will.

Anyway, I am done musing. The real reason for this post is that I just got a new cell phone, HOORAY. My phone number is the same, but I lost about 30 or so contacts. This is an urgent plea to everyone to text me their phone numbers, so I can start the rebuilding process. Thank you.

yeah. not much else to say. Hot Fuzz tuesday. If you wanna be hip to the movie that Tim, Emma and I will be quoting for the next 5 years then you should go out and see it.

Yeeeeeh

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Bye Bye Baby Toenail http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-04-12/bye-bye-baby-toenail/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-04-12/bye-bye-baby-toenail/#comments Thu, 12 Apr 2007 16:54:46 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-04-12/bye-bye-baby-toenail/ I would like to be the first to take Allison up on this challenge, as I was about to write about something very embarrassing already.

CAUTION: This post is not for the squeamish.

Ok. Last night, I was running upstairs very enthusiastically to join my lovely Emma for the watching of a few episodes of Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends (An Awesome show, if you say it’s for kids I will stab you in the jaw.) Anyway, in my haste, I stubbed my toe. You you see, we have a very low window in my very narrow stairway, it is almost parallel to the stairs in some places. So, while the rest of my body hurried upstairs, my right pinky toe stayed behind, caught in that space where the window makes a rectangular depression in the wall. However, when I say that I stubbed my toe, I do not mean that I merely squished it a little bit. I realized this when I got to my room and Emma pointed out that a small corner of my sock had turned entirely red. On closer inspection, I had a small gash in my toe and I HAD TOTALLY FUCKED MY TOENAIL UP. It now works like the that toenail in the commercial with the little dermatophyte. You know the one? Where he lifts it up like it’s got a little hinge and pops out from underneath it? Yeah, that’s what my toenail looks like right now. Walking about a mile to get to my class with that fucker squeezed into my shoe was not fun. I= cLUMzY A holE.

Anyway, to make this post less negative I am gonna end it like a xanga.

Currently reading- Dark Victory- A batman comic by Jeph Lobe and Tim Sale. Sequel to the Long Halloween. Very noir, very cool. I LOVE the art.

Currently watching- NOT grindhouse, because Tim, Pat and Deedee went while I was at work. A holes. We just saw the Host, though. That was amazing, and makes up for it.

Currently Listening- Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards- Tom Waits. The best Tom Waits I have ever heard. 56 songs and each one is amazing. My favorite disc so far is disc 3: Bastards.

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A modest offering. http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-03-15/a-modest-offering/ http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-03-15/a-modest-offering/#comments Thu, 15 Mar 2007 10:14:24 +0000 http://www.shambot.com/sam/2007-03-15/a-modest-offering/ This is Tim and I’s entry into the Beer Label competition. It’s the first in a series of 3 labels called “Petbuster Brew.” This is Lou’s Brew. Drink it. Fuckface.

Loo

In other news I am not as sick as I thought I might be. My throat has been really sore, and I noticed that I had bumps going all the way down the back of my tongue, making it kind of look like a squid tentacle. Naturally I was disgusted, so I went to the doc and he tested me for strepp, which was negative, so he guesses it’s some viral thing that will leave in due time. Also, the bumps are my tastebuds, which have gotten swollen because of the irritation.

Also- Tim, I think I left my cell phone at your place last night. If you see it around, please give it to me before you leave today! You can probably contact me through david.

Also- I made this drawing for Sparta.

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