Oh–hi there, Shambot! No, I didn’t see you ….yeah, you look totally different! It hasn’t been that long, has it? Really? Man. Did you lose weight? Been working out? Huh. Must be the lighting.

So how have you been? Me? Well, you know, busy. That’s why I haven’t called. It’s been hectic. But good, character building. What–oh, har har. Yes, this coffee is the size of my head. I was going to try meth, but this was cheaper and I have sensitive nostrils. Actually, it’s free at the ‘brary and the greeting card company, and I can make it as strong as I want. Sort of like my own personal dealer –who always gives me the best cut.

Here, could you hold my bag for a second? Let me get your number…where’s my phone? God, this purse is a disaster. Okay, what is it again? Eight-six-oh–shit. I can’t do this when my hands are shaking. No, I don’t want to switch to tea. I do tea, just not as often. That’s how you found your chi? Well, good for you. I prefer to double team my caffeine fix. No loyalties here (or chi, for that matter).

Okay, I better be going if I’m going to get to class. Yeah, we’ll do lunch or something. I’m pretty busy this weekend, but maybe next.

Good to see you, Shamby! Call me!