Tell it to me in Star Wars…

So, in the (secret?) Sbot! “hiatus” that took place following September, a buddy of mine, Emma and I started up a blog to help with making sense of law school stuff, called “Law Wars”.  Basically, we just take real court opinions, and re-frame them via the universal lens of Star Wars to help make them more digestible (and fun) for others like Tracy Jordan (and ourselves)!

If you’re interested, I placed a sample after the break.

Lucy v. Zehmer- (Supreme Court of Appeals of Virginia, 1954)

Lando Calrissian operated a classy restaurant on Corellia before he became the classy administrator of the classiest Cloud City on Bespin.  Han Solo, a friend of Lando’s who was severely lacking class and hoping to obtain some, came to Lando’s restaurant just before close one night and offered to buy Lando’s classiest vessel, the Millenium Falcon.  Han had discussed this matter with Lando many times before, and each time Lando had politely but sternly assured his “good buddy” that the Falcon simply was not for sale.

This night, Han brought with him a large box of “space wine” and the two began to drink and once again discuss the terms under which Han might buy the Falcon.  Han claimed that he could pay 50,000 Imperial Credits cash that he had just saved up from several smuggling jobs via the Kessel Run.  Lando said that for 50,000 he’d accept (believing his “good buddy” to be lying and wishing to call his bluff) and sell the Falcon to Han.  In an attempt to force Han to admit he didn’t have the credits, he even wrote out a contract of sale on the back of one of the restaurant’s receipt, and signed it.  Han then grabbed the receipt and offered Lando 5 credits down payment to seal the deal.  Lando declined, still thinking that Han didn’t have the credits.  Han then proceeded to get Chewbacca to help him get the rest of the funding together.

When Han came to Lando a week later with the “contract” and the 50,000 credits, Lando refused to convey the start up code to the Falcon, stating that he had been “joking” and that he had never intended to sell the Falcon, that it had all been a joke.  Han sued for specific performance, and the court granted, stating that it would have been impossible for Han or anyone else (who wasn’t a telepath) to know that Lando was joking from his outward appearance.  Lando claimed in court that he was very drunk from the space wine, but the court was not convinced, knowing full well that Lando was a man who could handle his liquors.

Exhibit A:

I mean he really is.

It really does.

Comments (4) left to “Tell it to me in Star Wars…”

  1. Joel wrote:

    I’ll admit it, if more cases were written like that I would be a lawyer.

    Also, LANDO, you rascel. You know your “buddy” Han is into Leia. Why you gotta fuck wit him like that?

  2. Bill wrote:

    I get it! Thanks, Star Wars (and Tim and Emma)!

    What’s the blog address? Do you have more written?

  3. Tim wrote:

    Yup! About 25 now. It’s under Law Wars! in the links sidebar. We’re actually hoping to move off of blogspot sometime soon.

  4. Emma wrote:

    That’s pretty awesome – I actually read the whole thing! EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT LAW WARS. There also should be a Law Wars Special Edition: Shamby Wars!