I’ve been takin’ it slow lately and procrastinating most of the day. I spent a good portion at school this afternoon working on a few things but not finishing anything. I have to say, I enjoy drawing a lot. I absolutely love to sit and draw things from my imagination and things I see around me. However, some days I just can’t draw. For some reason the synapses in my brain don’t fire correctly and my hand seems to be off a bit. Now, when I can’t draw it’s not like, ‘oh, I can’t beat this part of a videogame, I’ll try later’ or ‘oh, I can’t solve this problem, I’ll figure it out eventually and work on something else in the mean time’, it ends up being a “HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?” situation. The event, profane as it may be, is not uncommon to me and most of the time erupts in my mind and I just have to rest my forehead upon my arms and try to relax. Other times, the incredibly awful feeling boils through my veins, forcing me to throw, smash, rip of scribble on whatever is in my hand. Luckily, I’m usually a non-violent person. Usually. There are plenty bent notebooks, ripped drawings, and broken pencils (and hearts) that clutter my workspace (and my mind) throughout the year. But I get through it. Drawing is tough, making art is tough in general. I’m sure a lot of people think we artists get off easy (obviously not on this blog) and breeze through school. For me it’s a constant struggle of figuring out how to get things done, how to get better and faster, and most importantly how to keep my brain thinking of new, creative images and ideas. It’s difficult, but getting away from the pressure of homework is necessary. And how do I do that? By drawing more of course!

I’m trying to improve my adobe illustrator skills, shapes and gradients and such. I want to become as good or BETTER than Chris Hajny (Lindsey Nohl’s bf) in illustrator. I smell a challenge.