I’m sure we’ve all been there before. There’s that one kooky person in class who just fascinates and horrifies you like watching a car accident in slow motion. Be it the person who can’t help but wear Lisa Frank inspired blazers, or the guy who comes to class, falls asleep and begins snoring.  Well friends, I have a winner for you.

Some have heard me talk of her before.  I have no idea what her name is, but for now I’ll call her “the mumbler” or M.

Now M and I have developed a silent history.  Neither of us know the other, or have ever spoken a sentence in one another’s direction, but I have been collecting information about her via observation during class (and class exclusively, I’m not a stalker of creepy people).

Here is a collection of hyper brief vignettes about M:

M watches youtube clips of Animaniacs during class wide discussions of serious films (Like Fritz Lang’s The Weary Death).  She laughs at them.  She’s not listening, simply watching the flickering images on her laptop.  She appears to specifically like Brain from “Pinky and the Brain”. ALOT.  Also wikipedia articles on fan fiction.  Super cool!

During screenings of silent Weimar German films (that’s what the course is on), M becomes very bored about 3.7 minutes into the films and begins reading from her collection of books.  Highlights have included “Texas’ Scariest Ghost Stories”, some healthy amounts of manga (I’ve no idea what kind).  She does this by cell phone light.  I have determined that often she isn’t actually reading, just looking at certain parts of the page in no linear order.  She also is an avid doodler.  Of what, I can’t tell you, but she’s looking at her manga for reference, so I’ll assume it’s something related. 

M mumbles.  ALOT.  Almost any response to a question prompted by the professor is nearly unrecognizable 2.5 rows away.  She sits in the front, by the way.  Same seat. Every day.  Most comments (when I do understand them) are borderline non-sensical.  When discussing why a villain in a film (Dr. Mabuse for anyone interested) was fascinating she stated: “He looks like an owl.”  Awesome.

Today, when we ran out of time, the professor uttered “Goddamnit” frustrated that we had once again ran out of time to talk about something he had wished to discuss earlier in the week, a lengthy essay by Thomas Mann.  After class, I saw M approach the professor, and overheard her demanding an apology.  He did so, and I was left puzzled as to how he had so offended her.  Later it came to me in a flash.  Simply the words “God” and “Damnit” in the same sentence had set her off.  Did I mention she was blood red, with tears streaming down her face? No? Well.  Shame on me.

Now, I’m going to caveat this whole thing by saying I’m of the opinion that she likely has a developmental disorder of some kind or another.  That said, I’m fascinated.  It’s almost surreal at times.  I don’t know what’ll come next.  My guess? She publishes a hit minicomic about the Warner Kids as ghosts, with really oversized eyes and Dot being hyper sexualized.  Who knows.